The Reunion

So I said to him,  "Barack, I know Abe Lincoln, And you ain't Abe Lincoln..."

Obama  has made numerous attempts to quote Lincoln
  SO WHY DOESN'T OBAMA USE THIS FAMOUS LINCOLN QUOTE:


You cannot help the  poor by destroying the rich.
  You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
  You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
  You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
  You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
  You cannot build character and courage by taking away
people's initiative and independence.
  You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they
could and should do for themselves.
... Abraham Lincoln

Holy Prostitutes

hilarious

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES....

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....
Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES....

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT....

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS....

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.."

"Very well my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.

This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER....

Trump Explains Dumbo Care...

I can't verify that Donald Trump actually said this, but I love  it:

Let me get this straight…

We’re going to be “gifted” with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don’t, which purportedly covers at least 30 million more people, without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn’t understand it, passed by a Congrass that didn’t read it but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a Dumbo President with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, for which we’ll be we’ll be taxed four years before any benefits take effect, by a government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that’s broke!  What could possibly go wrong?

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