Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Best.email.ever.

I work with a man who's first language is not English, however he has lived in the United States a long time and gets along just fine... his accent is very thick, and I love it...

Additionally, he writes emails in the exact same fashion in which he speaks.

He sent this email today to a handful of part-timers that have not completed some required training. I admire his bluntness and just love his wording... I smile every time I read an email from this retired Master Chief.

To All,
This is the Last chance I will notify you to do your xxxx Training. Mr. D. Smith (edited) our Big Boss told me that you will do it or your name will out of the list and you can not work anymore in [company name]. Last day will be on 30 Setember 2010 COB. Please call me or email me prior COB 30 September 2010 for your certificate of completion if you still interested to work with [name] company. Thank you.

I love the bold and red font :)

Enjoy the rain...

Friday, September 24, 2010

"if historical events had facebook statuses"

Received an email from a friend today that said:

Google "If historical events had facebook statuses" and read the post! Absolutely hilarious!
aaaaand I have to admit, it was pretty entertaining :)

Go for it!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy Autumn!

Happy Autumn!


Can you believe we're almost finished with SEPTEMBER?! WHAT?!


I'm super excited to buy a pumpkin for my new front porch though ;)


Wish I could do this with it...


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Exciting News...

Received this email from a friend (who constantly makes me smile)... it reminded me to appreciate (and take advantage of!) the small things in life :)

Subject: Skinny Dip news~

Exciting news ~

I just took a moment to file my receipts from the last 2 days into my credit card receipt accordion… and I noticed something FABULOUS.

On the back of my Farm Fresh receipt… TWO Skinny Dip coupons!!! And I’m not just talking $1 off… but BOGO coups!!! Sweeeeeeeeet.

Just wanted to share the find… I am completely jazzed about this. :)

Hugs.




.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Just Remember...

"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off"

Saw this on my way to work. It made me smile...

Friday, September 17, 2010

We like getting paid

Received this from the CEO of a customer today... his gratitude made me laugh...

As mentioned below, we appreciate you efforts to clear up this contracting/payment issue.

As much as we love to do our work, we like getting paid even more.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU

These are some great tips...

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... And taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink and the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com )

14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

16. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

17. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

18. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

21. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Why the chicken crossed the road

hopefully you can read this...



and that, my friend, is "Why" the chicken crossed the road"...