In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.
"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Are you absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Be Safe during the Holidays
Very graphic but very powerful Aussie Ad campaign. Please be safe this holiday season.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8
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http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8
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Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Flash Mobs
I love Flash Mobs... I've never been part of one and I've never seen one in real life... but i LOVE the idea of Flash Mobs... assuming, of course, that they are not disruptive...
So I had to share this one for the Christmas season :)
http://www.carlsonschool.umn.edu/holiday11/
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So I had to share this one for the Christmas season :)
http://www.carlsonschool.umn.edu/holiday11/
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Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sewer backup
This is an interesting outlook...
This rather brilliantly cuts thru all the political doublespeak we get...........
. U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
. Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
. New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
. National debt: $14,271,000,000,000
. Recent budget cuts: $ 38,500,000,000
*Let's now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
. Annual family income: $21,700
. Money the family spent: $38,200
. New debt on the credit card: $16,500
. Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
. Total budget cuts: $385
Got It ?????****
*OK now Lesson # 2:
Here's another way to look at the Debt Ceiling:
Let's say, You come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood....your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.
What do you think you should do?
Raise the ceilings, or pump out the muck?
Your choice is coming Nov. 2012
This rather brilliantly cuts thru all the political doublespeak we get...........
. U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
. Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
. New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
. National debt: $14,271,000,000,000
. Recent budget cuts: $ 38,500,000,000
*Let's now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
. Annual family income: $21,700
. Money the family spent: $38,200
. New debt on the credit card: $16,500
. Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
. Total budget cuts: $385
Got It ?????****
*OK now Lesson # 2:
Here's another way to look at the Debt Ceiling:
Let's say, You come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood....your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.
What do you think you should do?
Raise the ceilings, or pump out the muck?
Your choice is coming Nov. 2012
Monday, December 12, 2011
Natural born citizen
During times of arguing and debate, we still need a little humor sprinkled around...
Here's some of that humor for you I received in an email:
You, who worry about democrats versus republicans -- relax, here is our real problem.
In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ,
"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"
Yep, these are the 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! They walk among US. Lord -- we need more help than we thought we did!
Here's some of that humor for you I received in an email:
You, who worry about democrats versus republicans -- relax, here is our real problem.
In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ,
"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"
Yep, these are the 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! They walk among US. Lord -- we need more help than we thought we did!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Situational Assessment
My uncle sent this to me...
Situational assessment.............
The producers of this beer commercial borrowed a small 150 seat cinema playing a popular film, and filled 148 of its seats with rough-looking, tattooed bikers, leaving only two free seats in the middle of the theater. They then allowed theater management to sell tickets for the last pair of tickets to several young couples.
What would you do?
Watch till the end ..... http://www.theinspiration.com/2011/09/carlsberg-stunt-in-cinema/
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Situational assessment.............
The producers of this beer commercial borrowed a small 150 seat cinema playing a popular film, and filled 148 of its seats with rough-looking, tattooed bikers, leaving only two free seats in the middle of the theater. They then allowed theater management to sell tickets for the last pair of tickets to several young couples.
What would you do?
Watch till the end ..... http://www.theinspiration.com/2011/09/carlsberg-stunt-in-cinema/
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Friday, December 2, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Are you Pinterest-ing yet?
It's my new favorite... I can spend hours upon hours getting psyched with all kinds of ideas from home organization, DIY projects, interior design, style, and yes - even Love :)
So today, when I found this picture with the caption "every girl deserves this moment" I knew I had to share my love for Pinterest with the world...
So get to it! Create your first board and start pinning!
It's my new favorite... I can spend hours upon hours getting psyched with all kinds of ideas from home organization, DIY projects, interior design, style, and yes - even Love :)
So today, when I found this picture with the caption "every girl deserves this moment" I knew I had to share my love for Pinterest with the world...
So get to it! Create your first board and start pinning!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
11 Ways to Help Veterans
A few days late... but it's really never too late to help a veteran or the family...
http://www.parade.com/news/veterans/articles/11-ways-to-help-veterans-on-11-11-11.html
http://www.parade.com/news/veterans/articles/11-ways-to-help-veterans-on-11-11-11.html
Monday, November 7, 2011
3 year old bliss... and summer time fun
Leaves are changing, Fall is here... which means super cold days and nights are coming...
and I just came across this picture from the summertime... my 3 year old nephew had just worked up the courage to jump off the diving board (after watching his brother, sister, and 2 cousins all summer)...
Now that is what being a 3 year old is all about! Not a care in the world, and sooooo excited!!
warms your heart, doesn't it?
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
9 Useless Body Parts
Some of these made say "yeah - why do we have that?!"
and the last one just made me giggle:)
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/10/14/useless-body-parts/?intcmp=obnetwork
and the last one just made me giggle:)
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/10/14/useless-body-parts/?intcmp=obnetwork
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Dancing to Fight Cancer
This makes me smile every time :)
http://video.foxnews.com/v/1245963468001/dancing-to-fight-breast-cancer
How fun!
http://video.foxnews.com/v/1245963468001/dancing-to-fight-breast-cancer
How fun!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Krpytek
My brother-in-law has started a new hunting apparel company with a few partners and investors... we are all extremely impressed with his dedication and perseverance. So far, it's paying off very well. Cabella's is selling their gear exclusively for a year. They are in negotiations for another year! They are receiving excellent reviews!
Here is the official page: http://www.kryptek.com/
You can also find them on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kryptekoutdoors
And when you search for Krpyek at http://www.cabelas.com/ , a picture of Josh comes up! So cool!
Here are some youtube videos too... http://www.youtube.com/user/kryptekoutdoors
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSL5g_S--M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM5qezikNyw&feature=related
Here is the official page: http://www.kryptek.com/
You can also find them on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kryptekoutdoors
And when you search for Krpyek at http://www.cabelas.com/ , a picture of Josh comes up! So cool!
Here are some youtube videos too... http://www.youtube.com/user/kryptekoutdoors
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSL5g_S--M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM5qezikNyw&feature=related
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Burned Biscuit
I know it's been way too long, and I apologize...
Here's a good story for you :)
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.
On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating healthy, growing, and lasting relationships, whether it is between a husband and wife or parent and child or friend-to-friend!
Here's a good story for you :)
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.
On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating healthy, growing, and lasting relationships, whether it is between a husband and wife or parent and child or friend-to-friend!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Webcam 101
This is too cute...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcN08Tg3PWw
Previously, their granddaughter had tried to teach them how to use the camera on their new laptop...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcN08Tg3PWw
Previously, their granddaughter had tried to teach them how to use the camera on their new laptop...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
True?
Someone shared this with me last week... "The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference"
Do you agree?
Do you agree?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wealth/GPA Distribution?
This is interesting... Good food for thought...
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/17/college-students-in-favor-wealth-distribution-are-asked-to-support-grade/?intcmp=obinsite
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http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/17/college-students-in-favor-wealth-distribution-are-asked-to-support-grade/?intcmp=obinsite
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Rocks
While browsing my MacaroniKid newsletter today, I came across this article. Once I started reading it, I realized I was already familiar with the illustration. I'm glad I finished reading her take on the story though... good food for thought...
http://virginiabeach.macaronikid.com/article/156727/my-big-rocks
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http://virginiabeach.macaronikid.com/article/156727/my-big-rocks
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Monday, July 25, 2011
The game we are all stuck in...
Another email I received from my uncle... so true...
The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over everything! Want to play? No??? Too bad, you're already playing... and just dont know it.
And by the way, you're not winning.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Fluctuations
Received this from my uncle... it made me laugh...
Today's word is................. Fluctuations
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
Today's word is................. Fluctuations
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Rhema Marvanne
This little girl has an amazing voice....
on a separate note... if you need a good cry, watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/RhemaMarvanne#p/u/10/7t6C1UCP19U
on a separate note... if you need a good cry, watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/RhemaMarvanne#p/u/10/7t6C1UCP19U
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Crazy lady texts
Yes, that was the subject of an email I recently received from a BFF. and here is the body of the email (names changed)...
So you know how I've been telling you about some of the 'crazy' texts I get from Emily? Here is the latest one sent a few moments ago that I did not reply to... "I wish you were off today! I feel like I don't know you anymore!!"
This is what I WANT to reply back with but know I really won't haha... "Really!?! I saw you on Tuesday girl...On Tuesday I told you I was stressed about work and needed some time to myself so stop bugging me and saying crazy things like your message earlier in the week that you forgot what I sounded like after 2 days UGH!!"
I.Can't.Take.It!!!!
Ok that was my little venting sesh. Haha
So you know how I've been telling you about some of the 'crazy' texts I get from Emily? Here is the latest one sent a few moments ago that I did not reply to... "I wish you were off today! I feel like I don't know you anymore!!"
This is what I WANT to reply back with but know I really won't haha... "Really!?! I saw you on Tuesday girl...On Tuesday I told you I was stressed about work and needed some time to myself so stop bugging me and saying crazy things like your message earlier in the week that you forgot what I sounded like after 2 days UGH!!"
I.Can't.Take.It!!!!
Ok that was my little venting sesh. Haha
Love it ;)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Internet security
Interesting Email I received today from our Administrative Officer... most of us are pretty savy, but just in case... share this with someone...
As you may have already heard about or read in open press today, the hacker group "Anonymous" has announced that it has stolen 90,000 email addresses as well as encrypted versions of passwords from US military contractor Booz Allen Hamilton. Don't worry too much about the passwords, they were encrypted and shouldn't be easily accessible by those who may have stolen them. However, the email addresses are a different story. They are valuable to hackers because they can be used to send spoof emails designed to entice you into clicking on a link to download malicious software.
If you are a savvy email and Internet user, you probably already know to dismiss these tricks without thinking - refraining from opening emails from people that you don't know; refraining from going to websites with which you are unfamiliar. Especially on Government computers. Here are several guidelines that should help you better understand when not to click:
1. There is no such thing as a free meal. Simply disregard any "incredible" or "to good to believe" offers, no matter how well designed they may be. Do not click on links that promise to take you to wonderland or make you wealthy.
2. You may also be asked to check your system for errors, viruses or whatever. Again, your browser does not have the ability to perform any such activity and cannot inform you of any system errors. Therefore, any such link inside web pages is an attempt to entice you to click on a link that could download malicious software onto your computer or redirect you to an inappropriate site.
3. Links embedded in emails or Instant Messaging (IM) sessions should be treated with care. Never click on links received them from someone you don't know. Even if you receive links from people you do know and supposedly trust, you should still avoid clicking on links. If you must see what's behind the sent link, COPY it into the browser address bar.
4. Think before clicking. If you receive an email - or any other form of message - telling you should login to a certain website and approve, check, validate, or confirm your personal data, you should NEVER do this.
You can never be too careful....
As you may have already heard about or read in open press today, the hacker group "Anonymous" has announced that it has stolen 90,000 email addresses as well as encrypted versions of passwords from US military contractor Booz Allen Hamilton. Don't worry too much about the passwords, they were encrypted and shouldn't be easily accessible by those who may have stolen them. However, the email addresses are a different story. They are valuable to hackers because they can be used to send spoof emails designed to entice you into clicking on a link to download malicious software.
If you are a savvy email and Internet user, you probably already know to dismiss these tricks without thinking - refraining from opening emails from people that you don't know; refraining from going to websites with which you are unfamiliar. Especially on Government computers. Here are several guidelines that should help you better understand when not to click:
1. There is no such thing as a free meal. Simply disregard any "incredible" or "to good to believe" offers, no matter how well designed they may be. Do not click on links that promise to take you to wonderland or make you wealthy.
2. You may also be asked to check your system for errors, viruses or whatever. Again, your browser does not have the ability to perform any such activity and cannot inform you of any system errors. Therefore, any such link inside web pages is an attempt to entice you to click on a link that could download malicious software onto your computer or redirect you to an inappropriate site.
3. Links embedded in emails or Instant Messaging (IM) sessions should be treated with care. Never click on links received them from someone you don't know. Even if you receive links from people you do know and supposedly trust, you should still avoid clicking on links. If you must see what's behind the sent link, COPY it into the browser address bar.
4. Think before clicking. If you receive an email - or any other form of message - telling you should login to a certain website and approve, check, validate, or confirm your personal data, you should NEVER do this.
You can never be too careful....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
[sic]
During our daily dose of E! News recently, they were quoting someone's tweet... but used this:
[sic]
twice during the quote...
I've never known what that meant, and my husband seemed all too excited to actually learn me something ;) He correctly explained it to me:
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/what-does-sic-mean/ explains it as well...
Sic in square brackets is an editing term used with quotations or excerpts. It means "that's really how it appears in the original." It is used to point out a grammatical error, misspelling, misstatement of fact, or, as above, the unconventional spelling of a name.
Sic is the Latin word for "thus," or " such."
Now you know :)
.
[sic]
twice during the quote...
I've never known what that meant, and my husband seemed all too excited to actually learn me something ;) He correctly explained it to me:
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/what-does-sic-mean/ explains it as well...
Sic in square brackets is an editing term used with quotations or excerpts. It means "that's really how it appears in the original." It is used to point out a grammatical error, misspelling, misstatement of fact, or, as above, the unconventional spelling of a name.
Sic is the Latin word for "thus," or " such."
Now you know :)
.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happy 4th of July!
Today, take a moment to pause and remember who sacrificed for your freedom 235+ years ago - and every.year.since...
Friday, July 1, 2011
"My Opinion, Let me Share it"
Have I mentioned I love Jen Lancaster?
I read her blog "Jennsylvania" on the regular... and her post from 29 June had me nodding my head during the entire read...
Love her...
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tu Morrow
Admittedly, I am posting this a little prematurely as I'm only on slide 21 of 26... but when I read this:
"Rob Morrow's daughter's name is Tu. Tu Morrow. There oughta be a law."
I knew I had to share...
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2009/09/09/totally-insane-star-baby-names#ixzz1Qm3CUWXf
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2009/09/09/totally-insane-star-baby-names#ixzz1Qm3CUWXf
and then I thought... who is Rob Morrow anyway?
Enjoy ;)
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Friday, June 17, 2011
Dads are the Original Hipsters
Courtesy of a good friend, I recently discovered this website... it makes me laugh... smart, witty writing and awesome old school pictures at it's best...
http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com/
Pure Awesomeness.
http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com/
Pure Awesomeness.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Bats
Where do bats go during the day?
That was one of the questions I asked during a recent trip...
the answer includes: under tree leaves, in the bark of trees, caves! sometimes in our houses!
http://bats4kids.org/homes.htm
oh and apparently? bats are good thing! http://www.cccoe.k12.ca.us/bats/good/bugcontrol.htm
That was one of the questions I asked during a recent trip...
the answer includes: under tree leaves, in the bark of trees, caves! sometimes in our houses!
http://bats4kids.org/homes.htm
oh and apparently? bats are good thing! http://www.cccoe.k12.ca.us/bats/good/bugcontrol.htm
Friday, June 10, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Googling... revealed
ok so i'm a little sad about this... but not yet sad enough to find a different search engine...
http://www.technewsdaily.com/google-vaidhyanathan-qanda-2619/?tr=y&auid=8306575
thoughts??!!!
http://www.technewsdaily.com/google-vaidhyanathan-qanda-2619/?tr=y&auid=8306575
thoughts??!!!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Discussion
An interesting read...
A Father & Daughter Discussion
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many other her age, she considered herself to be very Liberal Democrate, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she haad participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studing, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listend and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by... all she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to decuct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestions, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party."
If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Republican and Democrate, I'm all ears...
Well, it made me smile ;)
A Father & Daughter Discussion
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many other her age, she considered herself to be very Liberal Democrate, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she haad participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studing, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listend and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by... all she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to decuct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestions, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party."
If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Republican and Democrate, I'm all ears...
Well, it made me smile ;)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Drowning doesn't look like drowning
This is a super important article my sister found... if you learn one thing from it... learn this:
children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why.
.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Memorial Day
Happy Memorial Day!
I hope you spend a few minutes today wondering why we are off work... and who we are supposed to be remembering...
Thank you to our special men that took out Bin Laden this month. Thank you to the families who have lost their loved ones, but continue to love their country.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Gumball Logic
This is actually pretty interesting...
I couldn't find the clip on YouTube... but when you click on this website, if you wait a second the screen will scroll over to a clip that shows a man with jars of gumballs...
http://www.numbersusa.org/
.
I couldn't find the clip on YouTube... but when you click on this website, if you wait a second the screen will scroll over to a clip that shows a man with jars of gumballs...
http://www.numbersusa.org/
.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
What married women really need
This is a fairly interesting, brief article...
http://www.modernghana.com/lifestyle/2073/16/what-married-women-really-need.html
.
http://www.modernghana.com/lifestyle/2073/16/what-married-women-really-need.html
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Interpretation
A husband's recent email to a former supervisor:
I hope everything is going well with you and your family. I thought about you all last summer. Scott and I play a lot of volleyball at 55th Street and I've seen you guys up at the beach house. Take Car.
Wife: That was awkward. "I thought about you all last summer."
Husband: It reads you'all. As in his family.
Husband's brother: I read it "you" "all", as in he's been thinking about the guy ALL last summer, which is very touching.
Wife: Next time, use the apostrophe...
Brother: Or, he should have said, "I've been thinking about you all, all summer." That would have taken care of the problem.
Wife: Yup, that's a good option too... or he didn't need to tell another man he was thinking about him 9 months ago... HAHAHAHAHAHA
Love it...
.
I hope everything is going well with you and your family. I thought about you all last summer. Scott and I play a lot of volleyball at 55th Street and I've seen you guys up at the beach house. Take Car.
Wife: That was awkward. "I thought about you all last summer."
Husband: It reads you'all. As in his family.
Husband's brother: I read it "you" "all", as in he's been thinking about the guy ALL last summer, which is very touching.
Wife: Next time, use the apostrophe...
Brother: Or, he should have said, "I've been thinking about you all, all summer." That would have taken care of the problem.
Wife: Yup, that's a good option too... or he didn't need to tell another man he was thinking about him 9 months ago... HAHAHAHAHAHA
Love it...
.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Pay it Forward...
Ever heard of "Pay it Forward"? Apparently my husband hasn't...
This is how our morning conversation went yesterday:
Me: I can't believe you're marking me drive your POS car to work today
Him: But there's a $5 Starbucks gift card in there that you can use!
Me: hm
Him: Yeah, we tried to use them on Monday to cure the "Monday morning blues", but when we went to pay, the cashier said the lady in front of us had already paid for our drinks
Me: Really? Who was she?
Him: The cashier didn't know, but she said sometimes people will pay for the person behind them, and then the next person will pay for the person behind him, and then it keeps going down the line
Me: Wow! That's great! So was there someone in line behind you?
Him: Yes!
Me: Did you pay for their drink?!
Him: No
Me: WHAT?! Why not?! Donnie! You're supposed to pay it forward!!! You just let it die right there with you!!?
Him: Well!? I wanted to use my gift card!
Me: Well! You could have used it on the person behind you!
Him: But what if they had a big order?
Me: Oh.my.gosh, I can't believe you didn't keep it going! I don't know how it works, but if what they order is more than what you paid, I'm sure the cashier knows what to do! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KEEP IT GOING!!!
SOoooo, no - I didn't use the gift card yesterday.... it's tainted... but I was tempted to go to Starbucks and buy a drink for someone...
.
This is how our morning conversation went yesterday:
Me: I can't believe you're marking me drive your POS car to work today
Him: But there's a $5 Starbucks gift card in there that you can use!
Me: hm
Him: Yeah, we tried to use them on Monday to cure the "Monday morning blues", but when we went to pay, the cashier said the lady in front of us had already paid for our drinks
Me: Really? Who was she?
Him: The cashier didn't know, but she said sometimes people will pay for the person behind them, and then the next person will pay for the person behind him, and then it keeps going down the line
Me: Wow! That's great! So was there someone in line behind you?
Him: Yes!
Me: Did you pay for their drink?!
Him: No
Me: WHAT?! Why not?! Donnie! You're supposed to pay it forward!!! You just let it die right there with you!!?
Him: Well!? I wanted to use my gift card!
Me: Well! You could have used it on the person behind you!
Him: But what if they had a big order?
Me: Oh.my.gosh, I can't believe you didn't keep it going! I don't know how it works, but if what they order is more than what you paid, I'm sure the cashier knows what to do! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KEEP IT GOING!!!
SOoooo, no - I didn't use the gift card yesterday.... it's tainted... but I was tempted to go to Starbucks and buy a drink for someone...
.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Awkward Family Photos - Pregnancy Edition
Disclaimer: Not entirely appropriate
A friend of mine is recently preggers (YEAH!)
She sent this blog... it brings up the old debate of having pregnancy pictures taken... and provides a decent argument for why it's not always a good idea
http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/12/10/awkward-pregnancy-photos.html
A friend of mine is recently preggers (YEAH!)
She sent this blog... it brings up the old debate of having pregnancy pictures taken... and provides a decent argument for why it's not always a good idea
http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/12/10/awkward-pregnancy-photos.html
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Bless Your Heart
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart"....
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart"....
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A round to it
Recently, someone handed me this at work... a piece of metal with "2 it" written on it.
It's about the size and shape of a nickel.
I said "what's this?"
He said "a round to it"
I said "what's a round to it?"
He said, "you know– whenever you “get ‘round to it” there it is for you!"
"oh, i get it"
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
Lessons Mom Taught Me
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside...I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside...I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
What starts with F and ends with K?
What Starts with F and ends with K
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms.. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal,'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied,'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms.. Brooks:'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms.. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal,'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied,'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms.. Brooks:'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
Sunday, May 1, 2011
A recent conversation...
A recent email conversation among friends discussing an upcoming Cabin/Fishing trip and the subsequent fishing tournament. (Background: K and D are married. H and B are married. M is a vegetarian.)
K: Are we having a fishing tournament?
B: Dagon right we are!
D: And this year, I'm not giving them any more "bait advice" so H can turnaround and catch the biggest bass. I'll let you know what bait is the best to use when we're packing up on Sunday.
H: It has nothing to do with bait because if it did, you would have caught some big mammer jammers just like ME. It has to do with skill and "dedication"...i.e., fishing in the rain (cough::cough::K::cough::cough)!!!!;o)
K: Just because I have mini-meltdowns on the river doesn't mean my heart isn't into it ;) it is a well known fact that fish don't like me... even as a child, on the L........n river, the stinkin' flounder ran from my hook! But I continue to try!! Although I mostly support my husband who has the skill and patience of Peter!! [Luke 5] ;)
B: Even if we don’t catch any fish or the biggest, it’s the camaraderie that counts!
K: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you're so sweet :)
B: Why thanks K :) Why do you think I hunt so much? lol
K: Um... to kill things...Is this a trick question?
M: K if I could click 'like' your last email I totally would.
K: Are we having a fishing tournament?
B: Dagon right we are!
D: And this year, I'm not giving them any more "bait advice" so H can turnaround and catch the biggest bass. I'll let you know what bait is the best to use when we're packing up on Sunday.
H: It has nothing to do with bait because if it did, you would have caught some big mammer jammers just like ME. It has to do with skill and "dedication"...i.e., fishing in the rain (cough::cough::K::cough::cough)!!!!;o)
K: Just because I have mini-meltdowns on the river doesn't mean my heart isn't into it ;) it is a well known fact that fish don't like me... even as a child, on the L........n river, the stinkin' flounder ran from my hook! But I continue to try!! Although I mostly support my husband who has the skill and patience of Peter!! [Luke 5] ;)
B: Even if we don’t catch any fish or the biggest, it’s the camaraderie that counts!
K: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you're so sweet :)
B: Why thanks K :) Why do you think I hunt so much? lol
K: Um... to kill things...Is this a trick question?
M: K if I could click 'like' your last email I totally would.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I'm a Freeloader!
This is interesting... and frustrating...
http://stossel.blogs.foxbusiness.com/2011/03/26/i%e2%80%99m-a-freeloader-fox-news-special-re-airs-today-at-3pm-sunday-at-9pm-midnight-est/
http://stossel.blogs.foxbusiness.com/2011/03/26/i%e2%80%99m-a-freeloader-fox-news-special-re-airs-today-at-3pm-sunday-at-9pm-midnight-est/
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Viscosity of Wine?
We have a tradition in our home... on the evenings we open a bottle of wine, the one who opens the bottle reads about it on the label to memorize the details, and then "presents" the wine to the other... i think this was inspired by the wine festival we visited the weekend we got engaged... most presentations go something like this: "Tonight we have a 2009 Fetzer Gewurztarminer which hales from the great Columbia Valley. 2009 was a wonderful year of the grape... notice the high viscosity as you twirl it around the glass, as well as the rich aromas that permeate. [cheers] Bon Apa Tit!" and yes, "Bon Appetit" he pronounces "tit"... So tonight, I finally asked the question... "Do you know what viscosity means?" The answer I received was "yes, it determines how the wine descends down the sides of the glass." oooooook! Time for a blog entry! Merriam Webster online says: 1: the quality or state of being viscous [not helpful] 2: the property of resistance to flow in a fluid or semifluid [kind of makes sense with Husband's 'explanation'] 3: the ratio of the tangential frictional force per unit area to the velocity gradient perpendicular to the direction of flow of a liquid —called also coefficient of viscosity [reminds me of the Engineer Physics class I almost failed in college] viscious... as defined by Merriam Webster online: 1: viscid 2: having or characterized by viscosity [seriously M-W?!] viscid... as defined by Merriam Webster online: 1a : having an adhesive quality: sticky 1b : having a glutinous consistency : viscous 2: covered with a sticky layer Ok, I'm starting to get it... THEN I google "viscosity of wine" and learn this: "Viscosity" refers to a wine's liquid consistency. A wine's viscosity may make it appear thin and watery, or may make it appear thick and syrupy. Viscosity is affected by the levels of glycerols (sugars) and alcohol found in the wine. Generally speaking, the higher a wine's levels of glycerols and alcohol, the higher the wine's viscosity will be. Wines with high viscosity tend to cling to the side of a wine glass longer, and may leave "tears" or "legs" as bits of the wine begin to drip back down into the glass. Reference: http://www.oregonwines.com/wine101.php?SectionID=8&FaqID=200 And now I know... Husband didn't know what he was talking about, but he was using real lingo... How's the viscosity of your favorite wine? ;)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Is this real life?
This makes me laugh every time... my favorite part is the end starting at 1:35 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs&feature=related
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The Story of Jonah
This is absolutely amazing... this little girl telling the story of Jonah with all the emphasis and character tone changes! http://vimeo.com/16404771
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Purpose of a Dog
This warmed my heart... and it's so true :)
Dog's Purpose? (from a 6-year-old).
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The Six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember if a dog was the teacher, you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle
them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
Dog's Purpose? (from a 6-year-old).
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The Six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember if a dog was the teacher, you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle
them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Who ate the cat treats?
Awwww watch this...
Who ate the cat treats?
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/dog-feels-guilty/2050thx4?q=Dog+viral&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=msnrll>1=42010%0d%0d
Who ate the cat treats?
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/dog-feels-guilty/2050thx4?q=Dog+viral&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=msnrll>1=42010%0d%0d
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St Patrick's Day!
Ever wonder who St Patrick was and why we celebrate him? I do!
http://www.st-patricks-day.com/about_saintpatrick.html
This website says:
Saint Patrick was the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland who is credited with bringing christianity to Ireland. Most of what is known about him comes from his two works, the Confessio, a spiritual autobiography, and his Epistola, a denunciation of British mistreatment of Irish christians. Saint Patrick described himself as a "most humble-minded man, pouring forth a continuous paean of thanks to his Maker for having chosen him as the instrument whereby multitudes who had worshipped idols and unclean things had become the people of God."
Saint Patrick is most known for driving the snakes from Ireland. It is true there are no snakes in Ireland, but...
Also? The clover?
The same website says: Many folk ask the question 'Why is the Shamrock the National Flower of Ireland ?' The reason is that St. Patrick used it to explain the Holy Trinity to the pagans...
So why March 17th?
One theory is that that is the day that St. Patrick died. Since the holiday began in Ireland, it is believed that as the Irish spread out around the world, they took with them their history and celebrations.
The same website has plenty of additional information (including parade and event locations!)...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The first woman admitted to the Virginia State Bar graduated from UVA's law school...
This is a pretty interesting article... it's amazing how many accomplished people are associated with the University of Virginia :)
http://uvamagazine.org/features/article/women_at_the_university_of_virginia/P1/
Be sure to read "The Early Years"
Proud to be a 'Hoo!
http://uvamagazine.org/features/article/women_at_the_university_of_virginia/P1/
Be sure to read "The Early Years"
Proud to be a 'Hoo!
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Fork
Received this story from a friend... too good not to share... (warning: possible tear-jerker)
The Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly... 'What's that?' came the Pastor’s reply.
'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. 'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie; you know something wonderful, and with substance!
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ...the best is yet to come.' The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.
The Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly... 'What's that?' came the Pastor’s reply.
'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. 'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie; you know something wonderful, and with substance!
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ...the best is yet to come.' The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Anteroom
My husband often refers to our TV room / den as the "Anteroom"...
In a silly voice, he will say "Would you like to retire to the anteroom to drink our coffee and watch some news this morning?"
and everytime he uses the word anteroom, I say "What is an anteroom, anyway?"
Well, Ladies and Gents, today is the day I did my google search!
Merriam Webster says:
Definition of ANTEROOM: an outer room that leads to another room and this is often used as a waiting room
First Known Use of ANTEROOM: 1762
Rhymes with ANTEROOM: Baby Boom, Banquet Room, Birthing Room, Boiler Room, City Room, Coffee Room, Common Room, Counting Room, Cutting Room, Elbow Room...
My thoughts:
1) There are multiple doors in our 'anteroom' that lead to different parts of the house, although I would not consider it an 'outer room'...
2) Who in the world took the time to come up with a bunch of different types of rooms that rhyme with anteroom... I mean really?
I decided to dig some more... and http://www.wisegeek.com/ came up with this:
An anteroom is an outer room which connects with the interior of a structure. The defining feature of an anteroom is that it has at least one door which connects with the outside, and another door which leads into a room which is not in contact with the outside. In many cases, anterooms connect to several interior rooms, but they are not classified as hallways, because they are functional rooms, rather than elongated passages.
You may also hear an anteroom referred to as an antechamber, a waiting room, or a vestibule. The anteroom has a venerable history in architecture, with such rooms being common in Ancient Greece and Rome, India, and China, especially in temples. In temples, the anteroom held petitioners while they waited for audiences with priests or religious icons, and often space was provided to make offerings to the temple, for those who felt so inclined. In private homes, anterooms isolated the dwellers from the noise and odors of the street, and provided a space for visitors to wait while residents prepared themselves.
Because anterooms span the distance between inside and outside, they often have a very transitional feel. In a no-shoes household, for example, people may be encouraged to take their shoes off in the anteroom, and there may be a space to hang up coats and store bags. In cold climates, an anteroom can be quite useful, as it insulates the warm inner rooms of a house from the cold outside.
My thoughts:
1) Our den connects to the garage, none of the 4 doors in the room leads outside... not an anteroom
2) Our den leads to 2 hallways, a garage, and a laundry room... and is very functional... and is not an elongated passage... definitely an anteroom
3) Functionally, isolating a dweller from outside noise and providing a waiting area for visitors... definitely an anteroom
4) a transitional feel... this room lacks... mostly because you take one look at the beautiful sectional recently delivered from my new fav furniture store, and you want to stay forever ;) ... anteroom not so much
5) taking your shoes off... not a great idea in my house lest you step on dog food, drool or cover your socks in dog hair... anteroom not so much
I can make the case either way...
This is cool though: http://www.rodehall.co.uk/ante-room-and-library
Oh and when I did the Google Image search, it was clear these days an anteroom can be anything you want it to be... so decalre we officially have an anteroom :)
In a silly voice, he will say "Would you like to retire to the anteroom to drink our coffee and watch some news this morning?"
and everytime he uses the word anteroom, I say "What is an anteroom, anyway?"
Well, Ladies and Gents, today is the day I did my google search!
Merriam Webster says:
Definition of ANTEROOM: an outer room that leads to another room and this is often used as a waiting room
First Known Use of ANTEROOM: 1762
Rhymes with ANTEROOM: Baby Boom, Banquet Room, Birthing Room, Boiler Room, City Room, Coffee Room, Common Room, Counting Room, Cutting Room, Elbow Room...
My thoughts:
1) There are multiple doors in our 'anteroom' that lead to different parts of the house, although I would not consider it an 'outer room'...
2) Who in the world took the time to come up with a bunch of different types of rooms that rhyme with anteroom... I mean really?
I decided to dig some more... and http://www.wisegeek.com/ came up with this:
An anteroom is an outer room which connects with the interior of a structure. The defining feature of an anteroom is that it has at least one door which connects with the outside, and another door which leads into a room which is not in contact with the outside. In many cases, anterooms connect to several interior rooms, but they are not classified as hallways, because they are functional rooms, rather than elongated passages.
You may also hear an anteroom referred to as an antechamber, a waiting room, or a vestibule. The anteroom has a venerable history in architecture, with such rooms being common in Ancient Greece and Rome, India, and China, especially in temples. In temples, the anteroom held petitioners while they waited for audiences with priests or religious icons, and often space was provided to make offerings to the temple, for those who felt so inclined. In private homes, anterooms isolated the dwellers from the noise and odors of the street, and provided a space for visitors to wait while residents prepared themselves.
Because anterooms span the distance between inside and outside, they often have a very transitional feel. In a no-shoes household, for example, people may be encouraged to take their shoes off in the anteroom, and there may be a space to hang up coats and store bags. In cold climates, an anteroom can be quite useful, as it insulates the warm inner rooms of a house from the cold outside.
My thoughts:
1) Our den connects to the garage, none of the 4 doors in the room leads outside... not an anteroom
2) Our den leads to 2 hallways, a garage, and a laundry room... and is very functional... and is not an elongated passage... definitely an anteroom
3) Functionally, isolating a dweller from outside noise and providing a waiting area for visitors... definitely an anteroom
4) a transitional feel... this room lacks... mostly because you take one look at the beautiful sectional recently delivered from my new fav furniture store, and you want to stay forever ;) ... anteroom not so much
5) taking your shoes off... not a great idea in my house lest you step on dog food, drool or cover your socks in dog hair... anteroom not so much
I can make the case either way...
This is cool though: http://www.rodehall.co.uk/ante-room-and-library
Oh and when I did the Google Image search, it was clear these days an anteroom can be anything you want it to be... so decalre we officially have an anteroom :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Visualizing Budget Cuts
In case you haven't seen this yet...
Do you have trouble wraping your brain around big numbers? This is a visual learning tool for grasping the federal budget and a proposed $100 Million budget cut...
A college student explains:
http://www.wimp.com/budgetcuts/
Do you have trouble wraping your brain around big numbers? This is a visual learning tool for grasping the federal budget and a proposed $100 Million budget cut...
A college student explains:
http://www.wimp.com/budgetcuts/
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Why do your eyes turn red?
This is the reason I created my blog... answers to random questions...
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2011/0215/1224289812808.html
...now you know!
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2011/0215/1224289812808.html
...now you know!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
DWTS
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/02/28/sugar-ray-leonard-kendra-wilkinsin-hoof-dancing-series/?test=faces
YEAH! i didn't realize it was time for a new Dancing with the Stars cast... BUT i am soooo excited for these new dancers:
Kirstie Alley
Hines Ward
KENDRA WILKINSON!!
woop! woop!
YEAH! i didn't realize it was time for a new Dancing with the Stars cast... BUT i am soooo excited for these new dancers:
Kirstie Alley
Hines Ward
KENDRA WILKINSON!!
woop! woop!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Proud to be a 'Hoo
Another reason to be a proud University of Virginia graduate ;)
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/college-inc/2011/02/8_of_top_25_public_college_gra.html
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/college-inc/2011/02/8_of_top_25_public_college_gra.html
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Understanding Derivatives - A Primer
Received this forward in an email... gives a pretty good idea of what's really going on...
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit.
She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.
To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.
Heidi keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers' loans).
Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!!!
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINK BONDS.
These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.
Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb!!!, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi.
Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts.
Since Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Heidi's 11 employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINK BOND prices drop by 90%.
The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.
They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.
Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers..
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.
The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, nondrinkers who have never been in Heidi's bar.
Now do you understand?
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit.
She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.
To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.
Heidi keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers' loans).
Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!!!
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINK BONDS.
These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.
Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AAA Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb!!!, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi.
Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts.
Since Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Heidi's 11 employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINK BOND prices drop by 90%.
The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.
They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.
Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers..
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.
The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, nondrinkers who have never been in Heidi's bar.
Now do you understand?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Hollywood Hills House
My husband sent me this article:
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/02/16/hollywood-hills-mansion-haunted-cursed-definitely-sale/
Which led me here:
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2450-Solar-Dr-Los-Angeles-CA-90046/63081610_zpid/
Did you look at the pictures?!
Ok... the article also led me here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/16/us/16hollywood.html?pagewanted=2&_r=3&ref=global-home
Which then led me here: http://www.nicholscanyon.org/index.html
(That's the neighborhood's association website)
I then became curious and googled mapped the distance from this house to the Playboy Mansion (b/c I'm obsessed with the Original Girls Next Door)... about 8 miles, depending on which way you go, and approx 22 minutes...
This reminded me of what my blog was created for ;) Excellent google searches!
(Oh also? Timothy Devine? The current homeowner? not too interesting, I couldn't even find a wiki page for him... http://www.record-labels-companies-guide.com/interview-columbia-records.html )
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/02/16/hollywood-hills-mansion-haunted-cursed-definitely-sale/
Which led me here:
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2450-Solar-Dr-Los-Angeles-CA-90046/63081610_zpid/
Did you look at the pictures?!
Ok... the article also led me here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/16/us/16hollywood.html?pagewanted=2&_r=3&ref=global-home
Which then led me here: http://www.nicholscanyon.org/index.html
(That's the neighborhood's association website)
I then became curious and googled mapped the distance from this house to the Playboy Mansion (b/c I'm obsessed with the Original Girls Next Door)... about 8 miles, depending on which way you go, and approx 22 minutes...
This reminded me of what my blog was created for ;) Excellent google searches!
(Oh also? Timothy Devine? The current homeowner? not too interesting, I couldn't even find a wiki page for him... http://www.record-labels-companies-guide.com/interview-columbia-records.html )
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
History of Rap
I don't really know who Jimmy Fallon is, but he definitely held his own with this one... pretty good... made me smile :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1yK6RYXMYQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1yK6RYXMYQ&feature=related
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I'm 63 and I'm tired...
Interesting Reading:
Robert A. Hall is the actor who plays the coroner on CSI if you watch that show. He also is a Marine Vietnam War veteran.
"I'm 63 and I'm Tired"
by Robert A. Hall
I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked hard since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.
I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.
I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought Mc Mansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.
I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran , and the freedom of speech of Venezuela .
I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.
I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.
I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.
I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and mandrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.
I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I #@*# sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.
I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion.
I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.
I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close.
So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian.
Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.
I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois, where the “Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.
I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I'm real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I'm tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.
Robert A. Hall is the actor who plays the coroner on CSI if you watch that show. He also is a Marine Vietnam War veteran.
"I'm 63 and I'm Tired"
by Robert A. Hall
I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked hard since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.
I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.
I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought Mc Mansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.
I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran , and the freedom of speech of Venezuela .
I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.
I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.
I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.
I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and mandrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.
I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I #@*# sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.
I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion.
I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.
I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close.
So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian.
Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.
I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois, where the “Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.
I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I'm real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I'm tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Nothing says "I love you" like...
a giant cockroach...
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/02/10/giant-cockroach-valentine/
A friend of mine suggested a catchy slogan for the new gift idea:
"Your Love Is Impossible To Kill"
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/02/10/giant-cockroach-valentine/
A friend of mine suggested a catchy slogan for the new gift idea:
"Your Love Is Impossible To Kill"
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Progress on Arlington National Cemetery
Amazed to find out Arlington National Cemetery administration was so far behind the times, but happy to know plans are made to make changes... it's important to properly honor the men and women who have given their lives for our freedom..
http://warner.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?p=Blog&ContentRecord_id=58c30180-7d49-4be1-9c28-8bfc4220edf4
Letter emailed from Senator Warner's office:
I would like to share some very positive news on our continuing efforts to fix what’s broken at Arlington National Cemetery.
It was last June when many of us first heard about Arlington’s reliance on paper records and maps, and the systemic disorganization and shameful errors that inevitably resulted. I think all of us were especially shocked and appalled to learn about dozens of instances of misplaced or misidentified remains at the cemetery.
As an American, a Virginian, a member of the Senate and as the proud son of a World War II Marine veteran, I thought it was important to take action to try to correct these problems.
So last August, we announced a unique agreement with the Army. Several of our leading Northern Virginia technology companies assigned their brightest problem-solvers to work with the Army to honestly assess the back office disaster at Arlington, and recommend a responsible path forward.
We already knew that Arlington Cemetery officials were relying on hand-written files, paper maps and 3-by-5 index cards, which was an entirely inadequate system for responsibly tracking the 300,000 military heroes buried at Arlington and the 6,000 military funerals conducted there every year.
Senator Warner, with members of NVTC and representatives from Arlington National Cemetery,
announce the release of an assessment of problems at the Cemetery.
As a result of this assessment [pdf], we now know there were other disappointing management issues at the cemetery:
Arlington relied on a single fax machine and an inadequate telephone system, which created a difficult and frustrating bottleneck for thousands of families trying to send death certificates, service records, letters of confirmation and other important documents.
This continued reliance on pencil and paper records required families to produce duplicate documentation that in many cases already existed in the Pentagon or VA computer systems – but for some reason these computer networks were not linked.
Funeral urns containing the remains of our nation’s military heroes frequently were stored on top of file cabinets, in closets and on spare desks at Arlington for extended periods of time, labeled with a temporary, hand-written sticker, awaiting the arrival of the appropriate funeral and burial paperwork.
Arlington grave markers frequently arrived with misspelled names or other inaccurate information because hand-written records were illegible or incorrect.
Now, it is clear these management issues and workflow challenges existed at Arlington National Cemetery for years, even decades -- and they certainly won’t be solved overnight.
But this business plan prepared by members of the Northern Virginia Technology Council provides the Army with a clear roadmap to bring Arlington National Cemetery into the 21st Century digital age.
If implemented correctly, these recommendations will honor the sacrifice of those men and women who are buried at Arlington. This business plan also will go a long way towards restoring the faith and the confidence of those families who have entrusted the remains of their loved ones to Arlington.
An assessment of this quality and depth typically would cost a client hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it is important to note that these Virginia companies and NVTC provided this public service for free. I want to publicly thank them for this great example of corporate citizenship.
The Army already has replaced the management team at Arlington, and Army leaders say they have taken preliminary steps to address several of the problems identified in this report.
But let me be clear: my interest in fixing what’s broken at Arlington does not end today. I consider it my responsibility to stay focused on these issues, and to continue to press the Army to follow-up quickly and appropriately, so that we can put this disappointing chapter behind us.
Best,
Mark Warner
http://warner.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?p=Blog&ContentRecord_id=58c30180-7d49-4be1-9c28-8bfc4220edf4
Letter emailed from Senator Warner's office:
I would like to share some very positive news on our continuing efforts to fix what’s broken at Arlington National Cemetery.
It was last June when many of us first heard about Arlington’s reliance on paper records and maps, and the systemic disorganization and shameful errors that inevitably resulted. I think all of us were especially shocked and appalled to learn about dozens of instances of misplaced or misidentified remains at the cemetery.
As an American, a Virginian, a member of the Senate and as the proud son of a World War II Marine veteran, I thought it was important to take action to try to correct these problems.
So last August, we announced a unique agreement with the Army. Several of our leading Northern Virginia technology companies assigned their brightest problem-solvers to work with the Army to honestly assess the back office disaster at Arlington, and recommend a responsible path forward.
We already knew that Arlington Cemetery officials were relying on hand-written files, paper maps and 3-by-5 index cards, which was an entirely inadequate system for responsibly tracking the 300,000 military heroes buried at Arlington and the 6,000 military funerals conducted there every year.
Senator Warner, with members of NVTC and representatives from Arlington National Cemetery,
announce the release of an assessment of problems at the Cemetery.
As a result of this assessment [pdf], we now know there were other disappointing management issues at the cemetery:
Arlington relied on a single fax machine and an inadequate telephone system, which created a difficult and frustrating bottleneck for thousands of families trying to send death certificates, service records, letters of confirmation and other important documents.
This continued reliance on pencil and paper records required families to produce duplicate documentation that in many cases already existed in the Pentagon or VA computer systems – but for some reason these computer networks were not linked.
Funeral urns containing the remains of our nation’s military heroes frequently were stored on top of file cabinets, in closets and on spare desks at Arlington for extended periods of time, labeled with a temporary, hand-written sticker, awaiting the arrival of the appropriate funeral and burial paperwork.
Arlington grave markers frequently arrived with misspelled names or other inaccurate information because hand-written records were illegible or incorrect.
Now, it is clear these management issues and workflow challenges existed at Arlington National Cemetery for years, even decades -- and they certainly won’t be solved overnight.
But this business plan prepared by members of the Northern Virginia Technology Council provides the Army with a clear roadmap to bring Arlington National Cemetery into the 21st Century digital age.
If implemented correctly, these recommendations will honor the sacrifice of those men and women who are buried at Arlington. This business plan also will go a long way towards restoring the faith and the confidence of those families who have entrusted the remains of their loved ones to Arlington.
An assessment of this quality and depth typically would cost a client hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it is important to note that these Virginia companies and NVTC provided this public service for free. I want to publicly thank them for this great example of corporate citizenship.
The Army already has replaced the management team at Arlington, and Army leaders say they have taken preliminary steps to address several of the problems identified in this report.
But let me be clear: my interest in fixing what’s broken at Arlington does not end today. I consider it my responsibility to stay focused on these issues, and to continue to press the Army to follow-up quickly and appropriately, so that we can put this disappointing chapter behind us.
Best,
Mark Warner
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Maybe I'll become a diamond...
Did you know when you die, you can be cremated and have your ashes made into a diamond?
I think I want to be made into a blue diamond...
http://www.ashestodiamond.com/index.aspx
(Picture courtesy of www.ashestodiamond.com)
.
I think I want to be made into a blue diamond...
http://www.ashestodiamond.com/index.aspx
(Picture courtesy of www.ashestodiamond.com)
.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Typos
Be thankful that when you make a typo -- 50 Million people don’t see it!!! Someone miss-keyed the code to launch the ad…
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Customer Service Complaint Competition
Customer service complaint competition.
http://www.slate.com/id/2281833/
Here's one of my favs:
May 29, 2009
Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company
Peoria, IL
Dear Wrigley's,
As a loyal Extra® Peppermint sugarless gum chewer for the last 14 years, I am dismayed by two changes that have recently been made to the Extra® product line. The first, and less egregious, was the switch from off-white gum, to blue. Normally, a cosmetic change such as this would have little to no effect on my chewing gum purchasing preferences. However, it appears that the coloration has altered the flavor somewhat. I may be mistaken, but from my most recent package, it seems the taste does not last nearly as long as it once had. As early as last year I can recall recommending your Peppermint chewing gum to a good friend, lauding its long lasting flavor. Alas, I can no longer stand by that recommendation, as your recent changes to the makeup of the product have rendered it a shadow of its former self. The new blue concoction lasts only a fraction of the time, about an hour, if that, and dissolves quickly. I may be incorrect in saying that the chemistry of the gum has changed, it could very well be that my taste buds have simply aged, and that the gum has remained the same after all these years. I hope the latter is the case here.
The second, and much more objectionable alteration is the new packaging. The five stick multipack was the perfect size. They were readily available in bulk at the local supermarket, provided enough gum for myself and a few pieces given away during a normal day, and fit comfortably in a pocket with keys and chapstick. The new packaging scheme is, and I regret I must use such a harsh word, an abomination. At no time in my life have I ever needed 15 pieces of gum in one day, much less at one time. I have never been in a situation that has warranted me chewing nor distributing among friends, such an enormous quantity of chewing gum. The box is large, heavy, difficult to operate and an inconvenient shape. It is similar to carrying a second cell phone in a different pocket, which I assure you I have no intention of doing. Were I a female, a purse would provide ample space for this new larger sized container. Unfortunately, being a man, with pocket space at a premium, I simply do not have the capacity to be carrying around such an ungainly object, in addition to my regular compliment of keys, cell phone, wallet and chapstick. One may argue that a front shirt pocket is the perfect size and shape to carry gum of this dimension. Unfortunately, not all of my clothing has a front pocket, and on those days when I am without, I would prefer not to overload my already burgeoning pants with excessive accessories.
In conclusion, I would like to say this. I have encountered many people in my life who have been loyal and stalwart Extra® gum chewers. We have remained with Extra® through all the new trends, fancy packaging, upstart companies, and gimmicks. I would very much like to stay with Wrigley's and continue enjoying your once fine product, however, given the circumstances, it may be time for a change.
Very truly yours,
Benjamin D. Brooks
(Result: Brooks received a voucher for $1.46.)
http://www.slate.com/id/2281833/
Here's one of my favs:
May 29, 2009
Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company
Peoria, IL
Dear Wrigley's,
As a loyal Extra® Peppermint sugarless gum chewer for the last 14 years, I am dismayed by two changes that have recently been made to the Extra® product line. The first, and less egregious, was the switch from off-white gum, to blue. Normally, a cosmetic change such as this would have little to no effect on my chewing gum purchasing preferences. However, it appears that the coloration has altered the flavor somewhat. I may be mistaken, but from my most recent package, it seems the taste does not last nearly as long as it once had. As early as last year I can recall recommending your Peppermint chewing gum to a good friend, lauding its long lasting flavor. Alas, I can no longer stand by that recommendation, as your recent changes to the makeup of the product have rendered it a shadow of its former self. The new blue concoction lasts only a fraction of the time, about an hour, if that, and dissolves quickly. I may be incorrect in saying that the chemistry of the gum has changed, it could very well be that my taste buds have simply aged, and that the gum has remained the same after all these years. I hope the latter is the case here.
The second, and much more objectionable alteration is the new packaging. The five stick multipack was the perfect size. They were readily available in bulk at the local supermarket, provided enough gum for myself and a few pieces given away during a normal day, and fit comfortably in a pocket with keys and chapstick. The new packaging scheme is, and I regret I must use such a harsh word, an abomination. At no time in my life have I ever needed 15 pieces of gum in one day, much less at one time. I have never been in a situation that has warranted me chewing nor distributing among friends, such an enormous quantity of chewing gum. The box is large, heavy, difficult to operate and an inconvenient shape. It is similar to carrying a second cell phone in a different pocket, which I assure you I have no intention of doing. Were I a female, a purse would provide ample space for this new larger sized container. Unfortunately, being a man, with pocket space at a premium, I simply do not have the capacity to be carrying around such an ungainly object, in addition to my regular compliment of keys, cell phone, wallet and chapstick. One may argue that a front shirt pocket is the perfect size and shape to carry gum of this dimension. Unfortunately, not all of my clothing has a front pocket, and on those days when I am without, I would prefer not to overload my already burgeoning pants with excessive accessories.
In conclusion, I would like to say this. I have encountered many people in my life who have been loyal and stalwart Extra® gum chewers. We have remained with Extra® through all the new trends, fancy packaging, upstart companies, and gimmicks. I would very much like to stay with Wrigley's and continue enjoying your once fine product, however, given the circumstances, it may be time for a change.
Very truly yours,
Benjamin D. Brooks
(Result: Brooks received a voucher for $1.46.)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Pants and Panties
Pants and Panties....
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A smirk for you
Muslim in Heaven
Abu al-Zarqawi died and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled "It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence ."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.
As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
Abu al-Zarqawi died and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled "It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence ."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.
As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
Friday, January 21, 2011
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before he goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before he goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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